Your dream was to become a physician, help people, and save lives. You were so focused on getting good grades, passing boards, and pleasing your attendings (academically we hope), that your social life and romantic life may have taken a back seat. Why didn’t people warn you about how hard it was going to be to find the right person to marry? Now that you are getting older, and even though you may meet many new gorgeous women (or men), you don’t have time to waste dating attractive people who are not marriage material. But how do you know if your significant other is going to be with you for the long haul? Will he/she understand you and support you?
We have compiled a list from a group of twenty-nine married male physicians who have “been there and done that,” and have settled down with the “right” mates for at least ten years, in order to help you eliminate the “wrong” mates. They sat down and shared with us some of the warning signs that they had missed that ultimately led to failed relationships or unhappy prior marriages. Stop wasting your time and start thinking hard about one of the most important decisions in your life. You should definitely trust your gut, but don’t forget to consider the experience of other doctors who have gone through the selection process as well. Is the person whom you are dating guilty of more than one of these 10 critical “physician dating red-flags”? If the answer is “yes,” you should consider looking elsewhere.
- When Your Pager/Phone Goes Off, She Frequently Gets Annoyed
- She Has Never Brought You Food to Your Work/Office or Prepared You a Meal
- She Is Not Genuinely Interested in the Stories You Share About Your Work
- She Has Asked You How Much Money You Make
- She Often Gets Upset When You Have to Change Plans to Take Care of Patients
- She Is Reluctant to Attend Your Office Dinners, Hospital Parties, or Medical Social Events with You
- She Needs to Go Out with You More than Three Times a Week to Feel Confident in the Relationship
- She Only Books the Most Expensive Hotels, Restaurants, or Events
- Her Phone Frequently Goes to Voicemail and It Takes Her Hours to Respond to Texts
- She Is Not a Good Listener or Emotionally Available for You When You Have Had a Difficult Day at Work and Need to Vent
You have worked harder, studied harder, and trained harder than most people on the planet. You need someone who will appreciate your career, your sacrifices–and most of all–be there to motivate you to be an even better version of yourself. Don’t focus on looks, and don’t settle for a doting doormat. Find someone who complements you and enriches your life. You need a partner who truly understands the good, the bad, and the ugly circumstances that may come with marrying a doctor. Hopefully, when you are trying to decide whether or not to take your current relationship to the next level, don’t forget to consider our 10 red-flags. Dating can be fun, but it is spectacular when you can focus all your energy on “the right one.”